The Bumper Bandit strikes again
On another bright day in Schnozville most people were enjoying their shopping and groceries trips. Until they return to the car to see their bumper missing. But not just one or 2 cars but 15 and a half. (The bandit broke one of the bumpers in half while stealing it.) This is also not just one store but locations across the town. My question still is why are they stealing bumpers of all things. Hopefully we don’t have any Trunk Takers anytime soon. This is causes a lot of trouble for the insurance some cars being totaled while others are told to just move along because they can’t risk it getting stolen again. This is causing a out rage among the people of Schnozville. I even went to the parking lot to interview a couple people. Here is the first person… “I pay all this money for that darn insurance stuff and now they can’t replace a simple bumper such a shame.” Person 2… “I mean shoot if it makes good money I would steal them too.” Person 3… “Why?” Person 4… “I just bought this new fancy car and they stole my bumper again! Now I have to buy a whole new car!” This needs to be stopped! Luckily I found a lead. A man under the name of Charles Downs has over 300 listed bumpers on Schnozbay. The biggest online marketplace in Schnozville. Hopefully the SVPD can do something about this.
After I finished these interviews I went back to the office typed this up then went to leave the office for the day and my cars bumper was missing! Are you kidding me! This is outrageous! I hope the SVPD can solve this fast!
The Schnozco concert
If you read last weeks newsletter you would know that at the last concert a tragic event happened when the lizard mascot tried to crowd surf. I got tickets and went to the concert this weekend. It was actually pretty nice. The music was good, the fans were good, the food left me on the toilet for hours though. But I guessed the learned their lesson and the mascot did not try to crowd surf. But this time decided to do a actual back flip off the stage and knock over the crowd like dominoes. Me included in this I was under a pile of people for about 20 minutes but with no injuries. I also realized that the band never stopped playing. So my guess was incorrect only 5 people were injured in this accident. I’m starting to doubt its a accident. But if another concert comes up I will buy tickets and see what happens this time.
Joke of the week!
What keys unlock a banana?
Mon-keys
Good Morning ☕,
Good morning readers! Happy Sunday! I hope you enjoyed this weeks edition of the Schnozville star! I also hope you had a excellent week! I’m very excited to announce a new behind the scene section on my weekly letter! I do put a lot of thought into these letters so seeing what goes on behind this is a pretty cool idea to me! I love all of y’all and I hope you have a amazing week! Jesus loves you <3
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